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How to Stop Fighting So Much With Your Partner, According to Relationship Experts

how to stop fighting so much with your partner

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, especially in a romantic one. These conflicts do not necessarily signal you’re with the wrong person or that your relationship will not last. However, how often you fight and the intensity of the fight may be telling of how both partners feel in the relationship.

“Persistent fighting takes love and transforms it into hatred, bitterness, anger, frustrationand ultimately, contempt,” explains Patrick Wanis, PhD, behavior and relationship expert in Los Angeles and Miami. We’re currently completing a survey, The Break-Up Test, and 3,205 participants have shared details about the reason why they split with their last partner. The top reason that women cited in my research about why they broke up with their partner: ‘We argued constantly.’ For men, this was number two.”

Yes, every couple fights. Conflictand eventually overcoming themis a sign of a healthy, productive, communicative relationship. But if you start to feel like you can’t speak your mind around your partner, in fear of starting an argument, that’s a red flag, says Maria Sullivan, dating expert and the vice president of Dating.com in New York City.

“In a healthy relationship, you should be able to talk freely without feeling judged. If you begin to feel like you’re walking on eggshells there might be a deeper issue in the relationship,” Sullivan says.

At the beginning of a healthy relationship, you get creative with how you express your love. If the relationship begins to fizzle and fights bubble up, “both parties tend to take that same creative energy to express hatred for each other in the worst way possible. If you’re arguing more than you are enjoying each other’s company, complimenting each other, being kind, nurturing, empathetic, or compassionate toward each other, then that’s too much,” Wanis says.

Ease the tension in your relationship and learn how to resolve conflict the healthy way with advice from our relationship and dating experts. Also, if you’re in a heterosexual relationship, it could benefit you to learn the primary ways women are different from men.

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