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7 Therapist-Approved Ways to Deal with Dating Rejection

Dating Rejection

Dating rejection is the absolute worst

From Bumble to Tinder to Hingeoh yes, and in real lifethere are more ways than ever to meet a potential mate and also, unfortunately, get rejected. Online dating has become the mostcommon way for couples to meet, according to 2019 study published in theProceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. However, the convenience of choosing potential partners and replacing one with the otherliterally at your fingertipshas led many people to get hurt both on and offline.

“We are hardwired to bond, unite, and to form connections with people. Rejection results in the loss of connection, and instead creates the sense of feeling isolated, cut off, disconnected, unwanted, unloved, or inferior,” explains Patrick Wanis, PhD, a behaviour and relationship expert in Los Angeles and Miami.

Rejection is processed by the same areas of the brain as it processes physical pain.”The body can react to social rejection like it’s feeling physical pain. Social rejection can trigger the overstimulation of your vagus nerve, which can lead to neck soreness, tension headaches, chest pain, nausea, and more” Wanis says. “So there can be actual physical symptoms that are direct results of experiencing rejection,” in addition to the emotional ones.

Dating rejection is among the most personaland painfulkinds of rejection since it brings our innate insecurities to light, according to Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a neuropsychologist and faculty member at Columbia University in New York City. “Being rejected from a job because you lack specific credentials, years in the industry, or skills feels less personal. Although being rejected by friends is personal, it’s not a rejection of one’s sexual desirability or appearance,” Hafeez says. Someone who experiences romantic rejection might feel humiliated, stupid, unwanted, unloved, inferior, or not good enough, Wanis explains. They might even experience shame, too. (Worth noting: There’s a big difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is, “I did something bad.” Shame is, “I believe I am innately bad.”)

Since those feelings sound about as fun as diving into a 20-degree pond, we asked Wanis and Hafeez to sound off on the best ways to stop wading in sorrowplus, how to know when you’re ready to jump back into the dating pool.

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