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14 Things You Should Never Do in Bed

sex mistakes | affectionate couple in bed

Dont be shy about sharing your fantasies

So many women and men are focused on the sex or foreplay theyre not getting instead of talking about what they want, says psychotherapist and sexuality counsellor Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. But it wont be taken as criticism if you express your desires in a way thats constructive. Try something like, Heres something that would drive me wild As a bonus, the language you use can be as arousing as the act itself, Kerner says. And if youre itching to go a little 50 Shades of Gray, say so. The woman or man who really loves you is going to listen, says Brame. That said, neither partner should press for anything thats outside their comfort zone. Trying something new should be exciting, not unsafe, or uncomfortable.

Dont fake it

Opt for honesty instead of flatteryor just as a way to end something youre not enjoying. Instead, use the anti-climax as an opportunity to discover how your partner can better satisfy you in bed. Allow your differences to prompt conversations about whats working and whats not, advises Kerner. If youre concerned that your partner might be putting on a show for your benefit, talk about it, rather than being embarrassed. If you genuinely think they faked it, make it clear that you dont expect that they will have an orgasm every single time and thats totally OK, says sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox, author of Hot Sex: How to Do It.

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